Maybe if I stop for half a second.

I know why I am so uptight and stressed out right now. And yet, I keep chugging along. I know I need to take some time to just sit and listen to my thoughts and revel in silence - but right now I just don't have time to have the panic attack that would probably come right along with it. I know I need to spend some time in prayer - but each morning I'm just doing my best to make it out the door on time. I keep telling myself that I'll get to breathe tomorrow once I'm done with ____ , once I've gotten past _____ . I think I'm just waiting until I break down sick and am forced to stop. Just keep swimming, just keep swimming. I feel like my mantra is now that phrase from British propaganda posters in WWII - "Keep Calm and Carry On." Maybe I'm just saying that because I'm semi-obsessed with brits. I know better than this. I'm being less productive by forcing myself to keep moving than I would if I pressed pause for a while. And thus my first blog in months isn't even about what I'm stressed about - I can't open that can of worms right now. Oh the irony. I'm using a blog, (what I hear is alleged to be some sort of outlet, supposedly), to write about how I can't let anything right now and how I am being counterproductive. Oh the nerd who would examine such irony.